Who's Responsibility Is It?

Heal Yourself Now

Plenty of people probably do not want to hear/read what I am about to say. Bye bye bye. But here’s the thing, maybe Trump and the GOP are holding up a mirror and showing us a reflection of the worst within us. Until we excise our own not willingness to take responsibility and blaming others, how will we learn from this situation we are dealing with?

Forty plus years ago, a very wise woman told us that we are 100% responsible for everything in our lives. Even and especially for the things we hate, were victims of (rape, abuse, violence), stuff we don’t like, are embarrassed by and dread anyone finding out about. And that until we take that responsibility, nothing can change. Nothing changes until I do, she said. We balked, got upset and argued with her. I did and have over the many years. Who wants to take responsibility for the bad, for the crap, for the terrible things we’ve experienced?

The problem is that we think of responsibility as a burden. An image comes to mind from the movie The Mission. A man was responsible for the death of a woman. I don’t remember all of the circumstances. I don’t recall if he killed her. But for years, in penance, he carried heavy rocks in a sack upon his back climbing up mountains. At some point, another man cut the sack loose and freed the guy from his burden of guilt.

Rannette Nicholas and I had numerous conversations about this topic. She shared that whenever she found out and was shown very bad things about herself, she felt a surge of joy bubbling up inside of her. I told her that was crazy and that most people, none that I know, respond like that. She laughed her wonderful laugh and I said how can you feel joy. She answered that she knew that when she could see what needed to be healed within herself, she could do so. It was when she did not know or see that was hurtful and damaging. I told her that was a very unique perspective that probably no one else on the planet held or something like that. She was very rare. I’ve never met anyone like her before or since she passed in 2015.

Another wise soul added later that we create and/or allow things to happen in life. When we are kids, of course, we do not have a lot of control over what our parents and adults do or say. As we grow up and many adults walking around in grownup bodies still respond to events, circumstances, in similar ways that they did when they were children or adolescents which is no longer appropriate. It takes a real adult to own and take responsibility for creating and/or allowing.

Many people prefer to play victim, moan, whine and complain about others doing it to them, blaming people for years. I myself have been guilty of that. We reflect what we are taught by our parents, teachers and society. But we are at a crossroads I think. And we need to wake up and grow up in order to overcome this virus and our government’s incompetence and gross negligence.

I am not not not saying we are all responsible for the deaths and sickness. And if / when we respond to the virus as adults we can and must take precautions, protect ourselves and others. We can boost our immune systems and handle the virus and pandemic responsibly. 

Spreading the fear and lies, worrying all the time and stressing ourselves is not healthy nor productive. It does not mean not to expose the darkness but limit exposure to a few minutes a day. What else can you do, how else can you spend your time besides fretting over every little sniffle or cough? Don’t deny nor dismiss major symptoms but don’t dwell on the fear, pain, loneliness you are feeling. Meditate, go for a walk, watch a yoga video or funny movie.

I read years ago that Dr Norman Cousins laughed his way to health from a terrible illness. Seriously he spent his days watching funny movies and laughing and healed himself. He got those endorphins flowing throughout his body and mind.

"he checked himself into a hotel," she continued. "He had films of Candid Camera and the Marx Brothers brought in. He read all sorts of funny books, and he discovered that ten minutes of a belly laugh gave him twenty minutes of pain-free sleep. And little by little, as it came to be famously remembered, he laughed himself back to health."

“Your thoughts and feelings (psycho) affect the chemicals in your brain (neuro), which affect the hormones that fight disease or replicate viruses (immunology).”

Don’t believe me, skeptics, google it, research it for yourself.

I read that people are bored, have cabin fever and maybe what they are really saying is that they don’t like being alone with themselves. Are afraid of the alone time. Perhaps they are lonely. Maybe they do not like themselves. Have a heart. Every one of us is lovable and loved.

There is so much to do and be done. Inner reflection. Sew masks, cook and bake and share with needy seniors, provide useful info, write, paint, create artistic projects, sing, dance and inspire yourself and others. This is no time for pity parties and blaming extravaganzas.

Be brutally honest with yourself. Take responsibility for your flaws and mistakes and the bad stuff and forgive yourself and others.

Heal yourself. If not now, when?